Skyrim, Minecraft, Puppies, and Ranting

I started playing Skyrim again recently, and I just wanna say. I believe it's the sexiest game to exist. I can play it for hours and never get bored. 

The soundtrack is relaxing. It makes you feel like you're actually in a new world, a new time period. It's beautiful.

The way the game play makes it seem somewhat real. I'd like to have seen more clashing of swords instead of hacking and slashing then drinking potions. 

Daedric armor design is sexy as hell. Dragon bone armor I expected to look better than it did, it was a bit of a let down.

Sometimes I get so in to this game, I take jobs and roles as such. Like. I'll just chop wood for days at Anga's mill for gold pieces. Or I'll go mining around the world for a while and seel the ore. Or go around with a bow and some steel arrows and be a hunter. The possibilities of what you can do are endless, all on a beautiful and realistic landscape. 

And I'm currently working on turning into a nerd and learning skyrim dragon language. 

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I've built the ultimate treehouse in minecraft. Its 3 stories high off a jungle tree, with multiple houses, floating gardens, and shops. It has a system of waterfalls and bridges that lead to endless areas. I'm currently in the middle of building and finishing the library.

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My doggie is amazing and I wish she was immortal but shes not so im sad. 

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So when I'm chatting up online people and they ask me my gender, then ask for a picture, I tell them no. They ask why. I don't look like the gender I am. Then the bombardment of questions comes. "are you trans?" "do you have a penis?" "do you still have your vagina?" "what about your boobs?" "is it weird?" "whats it like being a different gender than what you are?" Well first of all. You asking all these nosyass questions isn't making things any easier. Second, if you really wanna know all this, use google. It's right at your fingertips. I really don't wanna spend my day educating you about something that you can easily access any time you want. 

Being a different gender than what I feel is extremely hard, but not impossible. Nothing ever feels right. ATM I have long hair, I'm getting it cut soon, though. But it doesn't feel right. I feel like it should have always been kept short, but hasn't been kept that way. 

No, I don't have a penis yet. I hope to have one soon, though. Definitely looking forward to being able to pee without taking my pants off and freezing in the mornings. 

Recently my friend Riley, who's now Skyelynn, came out to me and a few others as transgendered. And I'm super proud of her.She's an amazing and super supportive chick about everything. She's one of my best friends c:



Thats all for today, folks ;-;








~Jason

I'm Boring

So I think I have the flu. I've had a fever ranging from 101-102 for the past 2 days. And I feel like I've been run over by a truck. Blaahhh. I constantly feel like I'm gonna throw up, and coughing. So much coughing. Kids, get your flu shots. The flu is fucking horrible. 




My doggie has a weird growth on her snout. My dad was looking at it and moving the fur around it, and it just popped off and started bleeding. So we'll have to take her to the vet to get that checked out. My dad also thinks she might have a brain tumor. And I'm just like. :CCCCC I really don't want that to be true. Cause I love her. like. alot. I'm gonna go cry now. bye ;-;



~Jason

Happy 2 Years, Babe

Today was my girlfriend's and I's 2 year anniversary. And I have something to say.

Babe, 
You are amazing, radiant, beautiful, kind, stunning, intelligent, caring, funny, adorable, short, supportive, and just absolutely perfect. You are for sure the person I want to spend my life with, the person I want to raise kids with, the person I want to wake up every morning to, and the person I want to hug and snuggle when I'm upset. I can barely put in to words how amazing you are, and I can't put in to words how much I love you. Its this insane amount, and its always growing. 

I love you twice as much as I did yesterday, but only half as much as I will tomorrow

Happy two year anniversary, babygirl<3 I'm sure there'll be many more to come.



~Jason

Acceptance, Dogs, 2 Years, College, and Ghosts

Today I met this guy on the internet, completely anonymous and all that through my friends new friendship project. (basically, you join a group without any gender or physical appearance labels and talk to people and get to know the person purely with their personality). I actually wasn't participating in the entire thing, so I had my (male) gender up and my name instead of anonymous, but we got to talking about the subject of transgender because my friend just came out about it. It was extremely interesting talking to him about it, he was completely new to it and he asked me if he could ask questions, and of course I was fine with it. But I was thoroughly surprised that his questions, which should've seemed ignorant, weren't. He and talked very shortly about that subject, but then went on to talk about lucid dreams and deep thinking. 

But I guess what I'm trying to say here is that if you know nothing about transgendered people and would like to know more, but more from personal perspective than articles on the internet, try your best to be like this guy. Be polite about it and try and seem less ignorant than you are. Basically, have common courtesy. (America lacks it, these days) 

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I already know exactly what kind of dog I want when I live on my own and can choose the breed. I seriously can't get my sights off a nicely trained German Shepherd. Beautiful dogs, extremely loyal, and seemingly invincible, they'd make the perfect family guard dog. I know it probably wouldn't be best to have him/her around small kids, but I'm hoping I can get it trained well so it would know better than to bite or growl.If I can't get a German Shepherd, I'll get a golden retriever. They'd make perfect snuggle buddies.

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On the 16th, it'll be my girlfriend's and I's 2 year anniversary :3 oh mah lord I love her so much, it's seriously insane. 

For any guys who happen to read this and are like "Damn, I can't get any bitches":

-First of all, they aren't bitches, they are ladies.
-Women aren't your sex objects. I know some girls are dressing slutty and asking to be treated like the corner whore, but have some chivalry
-Treat them like they're your princess/queen. It makes all the difference when you stop treating her like she's your hotel and prostitution service. 
-Don't sag your pants.

thats all.

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My plans for college aren't entirely decided yet, but I have an outline. When I graduate highschool when I'm 18, I'm gonna move in with my girlfriend for a year, and just take a year off school and just have a full time job. Living in the new state for that year will also get me residence discount +1. once I'm 20, I'll start college and hopefully be done with my gender transition by about 24-25 if I rush it. It'll make starting a career easier. My life is confused :c

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Call of Duty Ghosts is awesome k. I played it for 4 hours straight today while dealing with prepubecent boys on Xbox live. The second part isn't exactly my cup of tea, but its fun to troll. 

Dat L115 with chrome barrel with thermal sight is boss. I tear up stonehaven and stormfront with it, along with the honey badger at times. And honestly, whats the difference between quick scoping and hard scoping? I'm so confused to be honest. 



~Jason

Dogs, Sisters, Suspenseful Stories, and Lesbian Adorableness!

I just got back from my weekend up in the mountains and all that fun stuff. On our way driving home, we stopped at this amazing smokehouse. I don't remember what its called, but they had buffalo jerky, elk jerky, beef jerky, turkey jerky, you name it, and it all tasted amazing. While we were there, we bought a smoked pigs ear for my dog. It was just simple smoked, nothing special. My dog fucking loves the shit out of it, and my sister is terrified and grossed out by it. So given the circumstances, I rigged up this thing. I tied a pole to the sledding harness we have for my dog and made it so I could tie the pigs ear to it and have it dangle a foot in front of my dog's face. 

My dog is just trotting around, trying to catch her treat, when my sister goes by. She freaks out and starts running. Like, zombie apocalypse type running. My dog sits there like, this must be a game, and chases after her. So we have a little hilarious scenario here. My sister running like there's no tomorrow, the pigs ear maybe a foot behind her, and my dog another foot behind. My dog catches up to her and the ear touches my sister in the arm and she freaks out, yelling things like "EW EW EW EW GET THAT AWAY EWWWWWW" So I walk up so calmly, take the ear off the string and pole set up, tie it to my sister's head like its her own ear, and walk away. She loses her shit, rips it off, and runs into her room and doesn't speak to me the rest of the day. That made my day right there.

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I dug out an old story my friend Dana wrote for English class in 7th grade. And I swear to god she's gonna end up writing horror stories for a living. I just copied it into a google doc a half hour ago. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1DaQAtbBJs0ya03yeGp2X83NTN7xRJjXKoG7LbNtju1U/edit?usp=sharing Seriously read it. Its one of her best stories. 

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I had a bit of a mini freak out earlier. I was at dinner, with my family, and a wild lesbian couple appears. They sit down a few tables away, and immediately snuggle up to eachother. Like. They looked so happy and comfortable together. If they weren't what seemed like they were making jokes or telling the other they loved them, they were talking to the waitress, who I think was hitting on both of them, but that's just my opinion. 

These two were just so in to eachother. They were constantly kissing, hugging, laughing, and just having a good time. And it was absolutely adorable. The people sitting at the table behind us were making comments such as: "Jeez, they should at least get a room, if not stop that sinful crap right now" And that just pissed me off so much. I wanted to say something, but I was with my parents, and that wouldn't go over well. 

I really think we should encourage lesbian and gay couples to be comfortable in public, and encourage equal treatment between gay and straight couples. Because this is seriously not cool. Why can't they be happy together and show a little PDA just like you can? It isn't right to judge people by sexuality and things like that. If you're a man and you want to kiss your wife in public, fine. If you're a woman, and want to kiss your husband in public, fine. If you're a man, and want to kiss your husband in public, fine. If your're a woman and you want to kiss your wife in public, fine. Just let it go. Let people be who they feel they are. You aren't god, asshole. Get over yourself.

~Rant over XD





~Jason 

Snowboard Boots, Ice Cold Walks, and Mario Hoops Rage + DDG

Today was fun as hell. Since I finally finished my schoolwork and my midterms, we left early today to go up to a town in the Sierras. And since ski and snowboarding season is coming up, I'm getting custom snowboard boots fitted to me, plus money for a 4 day lift ticket at Badger Pass. I have to rent out a board until I save enough money to get one my size though. I need one roughly 62-65 inches, and the one I have is about 51. Its gonna be held on to for my sister or for my future kids or whatever. Its a nice board from Rome. 

Also, just, I love this town. Its not too big, its not too small, and they have a snowboarding team for the highschool. Like. How much better can this get? It just sucks that I don't live here. But, we ain't millionaires. And if we were, we'd have been here a long time ago. 

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It's slowly getting colder outside and I'm in love with it. I love having to throw on a jacket or coat before I go outside, and then coming back with a cold nose. And I'm sure my husky loves it, too. When it starts snowing near where we live, snowball wars shall commence >:D.

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I love and hate Mario Hoops 3on3 for ds. I love playing it, but it frustrates me to no damned end. I started the Star Tourney 3 years ago, I'm on the last level, and I. Can't. Fucking. Beat it. No matter how much I practice, or how much I try, its either I crash and burn all the way through, or I'm leading by one score, and the other team pulls up a power shot. LIKE WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK, MAN. This is how my ds lite got broken. I don't think its gonna well. Just fuck my mario hoops career and throw me in a box. 

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So I love my girlfriend more than anything in the world, and shes my favorite person. <3 that is all.

~Jason

Fuzzy Handcuffs, Girlfriend, Adventures in Awkward, and Dysphoria

SO my girlfriend and I are gonna have fucking awesome sex lives. She's turned on by rough sex XD when she said that, I was turned on so much oh my god. Like. Long distance sucks for that shit, man. Soon though. Soon. Soon. Soon. Soon. Soon. 

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So today was really weird. I was watching those vines on facebook and stuff, and like, just this one guy was doing this... I don't even know how to explain. But it was hilarious. And also, this awkward guy kept coming up our driveway, sniffing our fence, then walking away. Then doing that again. Like. What the hell just happened there? He looked like he jumped out of duck dynasty.

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So I swear to god, my voice is getting deeper. I haven't been taking hormones for gender reassignment processes, but I swear. Its slowly getting deeper on its own. I actually love it, its helping with dysphoria in other things and slowly making it easier to deal with how long I have to wait until I can actually officially start HRT and top and bottom surgeries. 

I am starting to get worse with dysphoria though. I think its affecting my moods and my relationship with my girlfriend and friends. Especially during that special time of month. It's hard to deal with it. It's always been hard, it always felt wrong, but ever since I stopped pushing down the feeling "I should be male, not female", it's gotten worse. The feeling of having to accept something part of you that you feel shouldn't be there, is horrible. But thanks to my girlfriend, I've been better about it. She's so supportive about everything ;-; I'm so fucking glad I have her.
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DDG (Daily Dose of Girlfriend)

She's absolutely perfect, amazing, beautiful, adorable, kind, lovable, sweet, caring, and funny. She always makes my day and says cute adorable things to pick me up when I'm down. She's the perfect person and I never want to lose her. Ever. Just thinking about that makes me sad ;_; 



~Jason

Well, I'm back?

So, I completely forgot my blog existed, that's awkward. But I'm back and I've got shit to tell you. 

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So I told my sister about me and my girlfriend, and she surprisingly took it well. But then of course, my gf has to make me regret it T_T trying to tell the poor child what sex is and how it happens. Well, that happened. But its not really a big thing.

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So with Halloween coming up, I've been super excited about decorations, costumes, and making everything look terrifying as fuck. I've got this cool idea with some left over fish airstone tubing and fake blood that I can use to make a fake wound on my arm bleed on command. And since, this year, I'm handing the candy out, I'm gonna scare the absolute shit out of anyone older than 10;D I think when school lightens up a bit next week I'll work on the tombstones and fake skeletons I've been working on since August. Can you tell yet that Halloween is my favorite holiday type thing? 

What I think I'm gonna do, is I'm gonna set a bowl of candy out at the end of the drive way with a sign that says take 1 or take 5 or something. If an older kid takes obviously more than the sign says, say like, a bigass handful, I'm gonna scare them so bad they'll piss their pants and run to mommy XD. I feel so evil, man. 

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I went to the dentist yesterday, and they pretty much tore my mouth apart. I had a leaking filling so they wanted to correct it right away, and the dentist was giving me the novacane shots. She missed and got me in a nerve or in a muscle or something. But it's just been intense pain ever since. And not only that, my tooth is now super sensitive. Fuck you, dentists, fuck you. 

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So my girlfriend is trying to buy me expensive shit for Christmas. And I'm just sitting here like. NO. Bitch please I don't want you spending money on me. Like, didn't we agree on a $50 limit :l She wants to spend $200+ T_T If she did though, I would appreciate it, don't get me wrong, but then I'd feel like I'd have to pay her back ;-; It's complicated shit.

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So my dad and I are gonna start making guitars. This is gonna be so fun, because maybe I can get him to make me a new bass and we could make some money off of it. You never know xP Lately, though, I've had my eye on a discounted Thunderbird bass on guitarcenter.com. Oh man and not only that. I really want a Gibson Firebird or SG. Instrument porn for the win<3 

http://www.guitarcenter.com/Epiphone-Limited-Edition-TV-Silver-Thunderbird-IV-Bass-107776205-i2462325.gc

http://www.guitarcenter.com/Gibson-Firebird-2010-Electric-Guitar-107591661-i1550511.gc

http://www.guitarcenter.com/Gibson-SG-Original-Electric-Guitar-108576885-i2800912.gc


~Jason

Wall Twerking, Call of Duty, SEX, and Dickhead Sister

It's raining outside, and my gf is yelling at me to update my blog, so I decided to just do it since there isn't much else I can do.

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So today, yeah, I watched pewdiepie wall twerk. In his Friday's with Pewdiepie. It made me wonder if I could wall twerk. Yep, I'm never trying THAT again. Basically, I fell flat on my face, with Lady - Twerk blasting in the background, and ended up with a good headache T_T Kids, don't twerk, ever.

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YES, I am a CoD fanboy. My favorite of the games is Black Ops 2 so far, but I'm sure it'll be replaced by Ghosts. I'M SO EXCITED. I'M PRESTIGE 6 AND I'M A SUCKY ASS PLAYER:D 

But to the actual story, I pulled a MinnesotaBurns on this one kid and trolled him to death. I got him to actually put his dad on the mic and got him raging so hard XD 

"You shouldn't be fucking stalking my kid's behaviour on xbox, you creep."

"no sir, I wasn't, I just simply didn't leave the lobby we matched up in"

I need to do this more often.

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So sex is a scary thing to me. In the back of my mind, I know it'll feel absolutely amazing, but I also think "Shit, I'll be terrible at it and won't be able to pleasure her D:" or "what if I hurt her ;-;" SO MANY DAMN WORRIES. I'm also afraid I won't have any feeling, since I've decided I'm doing top and bottom surgery. Also, with the bottom surgery, I'm afraid my dick won't look or feel real, and she won't be able to take it seriously. I'm just super self conscious about all of me. Hopefully that will go away with starting HRT and changing how I look more to the way I want it. But I guess I'll just have to wait and see. 

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Dickhead Sister Story:

This one is gonna be fairly short.

So, for my 15th birthday, my parents paid for a small amount of the $230 Loaded longboard and bought me an ipod case. The amount they contributed was about $40 or so overall. 

My sister, being the dickhead she is, decides she wants a longboard as well. Throws this huge fit in the store and points at the most expensive 2 boards that were there ($560 and $620) and DEMANDS them  to be bought for her. She's screaming and crying and throwing a fit about how she wants those longboards and that she should get them if I get one. Bitch, I paid for most of this longboard, they barely put any money towards it. They don't cave to the two ones she wants, they buy her one of those $40 pennyboards. She still hates them to this day for that. I just don't get her thinking processes.


~Jason

September 21st, 2013

So it's 1 am, I'm half asleep, and my dog suddenly starts breathing really hard and really fast. Almost like you would after running a mile when you're really out of shape, except worse. I literally jumped up off my bed, turned the light on and took her collar off. It wasn't tight at all, it's actually loose. That's just the first thing that came to mind. "Take the collar off, she can't breathe". 

So she's laying there, what looks like to be asleep, but still breathing really hard like before. I yell for my dad to come in and he freaks out. He starts checking her neck and chest and such, and tells my mom to call the 24/7 vet hospital down the road. I'm fucking pacing in the living room while just thinking my dog is suffocating or having a heart attack or a stroke and losing my mind. 

My dad comes in the living room to get me, and I expect the worst. But he just says "she opened her eyes like she just woke up, stretched, and looked at us like we were all crazy." First, I'm super happy because my dog isn't dead, second, I want to kick her ass for scaring the shit out of me like that. 

So we take her to the vet anyways, because seriously, what normal dog just randomly does that? She gets all checked out and everything is fine. They suspected she was just dreaming, but was panicking in the dream. They told us to bring her back if it happened again. So, I'm way relieved she isn't dead ;-; I'd be so sad if that happened. I've had her since I was 4 or 5, and she's just an amazing doggie.


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If you could destroy one type of animal/bug on the planet, which would you destroy?


It's a tie between spiders, hornets, and mosquitos. 


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DDG:

SO MY GIRLFRIEND IS AN ASSHAT BUT I LOVE HER. 

But, I can't help but think how amazing she is c: 

So like, the littlest things she says can send me to cloud 9. It's insane. Has anyone else really had that feeling? After 2 years, you still feel those puppy dog crush butterflies?
It's amazing and I love it.

<3



~Jason

DDG (Daily Dose Of Girlfriend) Gets it's Own Page Today

DDG:

So today, I decided I wanted to tell my girlfriend how much I love her. Just randomly. I sent this text to her:

"I just want to say how grateful I am to have you in my life. You are an amazing person, and definitely deserve better than me, but you chose to stay with me anyways. And that means a lot. You've stayed through hard and happy times. Through fights and misunderstandings. But still, you didn't ditch me. We get along better than most people who have been married for years. Of course we have those fights, but they're so rare. I watch my parents, and they don't fight that much. They've been happily married for 20 years. We still fight less than them. Everyday I'm glad I get to wake up to talk to someone who loves me for me, and not money, looks, or whatever else. And I feel the same. I fell in love with you, not your looks ( but damn, did I get a bonus on that). I love you, and I'm glad that I can call you my beautiful, wonderful, absolutely amazing girlfriend. You are perfect in every way. Please don't ever change<3"

Now, I know that was a bit long for a text, but she was in school, so I couldn't call her to tell her, plus if my parents heard me say that, they'd flip a couple tables out the window. 

I'm also having a time problem. We haven't been together two years yet. Almost, but not quite yet. But I moved and have lived where I am for almost 2 years as well. But we were easily together a year before I moved. So unless I'm crazy, we had to have been together almost 3 years by now. 

We got together 11.16.11

I moved January of 2012. But that's impossible. Because I know I was dating her and was with her 2 christmas's before we moved. My brain hurts ;-;

So I think we were probably both forgetting the year and actually got together in 2010 e.e I'm just so confused. 


Dilingo Jalicat, Stupenda illa. 



~Jason

Fish, Saving Dead People, and Daily Dose Of Girlfriend!

So I'm one of those weird people that really likes fish. Like, keeping them in a tank in your room and raising them as babies type thing. 

So recently I had to donate a fish of mine to a library because he got too big for my tank. I think his size when I dropped him off at the library was 7.5 inches. Just this huge guy, literally took over my tank. At least he's in a better home now so her can grow more XD I got a new fish to replace him. I got one of those super small common plecos and he swims around like there's no tomorrow. 

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My friend asked me this question: If you could save anyone in the past from dying, who would you save? 

I'm assuming the person has to be real and not a movie character. 

Movie character: Jack from Titanic

Real Life: Ronald Reagan. 


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DDG (Daily Dose of Girlfriend)

So, it's super adorable how defensive Jali will get of me XD god I love her. Also, I like remembering past times we've skype'd and it's always so adorable when she falls alseep ;-; like ohmygod. <333


~Jason

Rainbows? I Think Yes

Today, I have my work cut out for me. My parents are pressuring me to finish my schoolwork before Thursday because they want to leave to go on a camping trip early that day. (I'm in an online school, so I can do work at whatever pace I'd like) I'm really not sure if I'll be able to finish it. I've warned them about it and all they give me is "You better finish, I don't want this trip ruined by you again" Yeah, thanks for the support. I stayed up almost all night last night trying to get extra work done and it's just going so slow. She apparently doesn't want this trip that bad though. She won't help with any of it. 

So I have absolutely no idea why my fish are weird. They're swimming in their tank, following eachother, UPSIDE DOWN. Jeez, I'd get a headache if I swam like that. Random.


Daily story of my sister being a dickhead:


I'm still super angry about this today.

So one day, I'm just minding my own business, probably doing homework, or waiting for a friend to come over, and my sister walks by just randomly.Of course I think nothing of it. But I failed to notice that she took my iPod. 

So I look up to get it, I needed to use the calculator, but think that if its not there, I must've put it in my room. So I just use the calculator in the office. Everything's fine, right? Riiighhht. 

So later when I go up looking for my iPod, it's nowhere in my room, backpack, computer bag, or the car. Just when I'm starting to panic, my sister comes by, drops something in a bag outside my door, and just leaves. I pick it up, and of course, there's my iPod. But it's fucking destroyed. The metal case was bent, the screen was cracked, and all the buttons were torn out. 

WHY. Why would anyone just randomly do that? She did get in trouble for it, but I lost so many pictures that I had made but only saved on there. 

At the time, my sister had quite a bit of money saved up. Heh. This is one of the only times my parents believed me and made her replace it. Because why the hell would I destroy something I use so much to get her in trouble? So, she had to take half of the money she had to buy me a new iPod. That felt so amazing when she finally got what she deserved over that. 

She had such a stupid reason to do this,too. 
"It was shiny and pretty, and I thought it would be fun to destroy" T_T PEOPLE. Keep your stuff safe from your siblings. Just do it. 

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So lately I've been just addicted to making things like dog collars and bracelets out of paracord. I just recently made a rainbow one with a multicolored clip. Just a little thing about a recent addiction ;-;

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JALI IS EFFING AMAZING AND I LOVE HER. SHES AWESOME AND LIKES IT WHEN I SAY THINGS IN LATIN. 

Puto est miris Jali


~Jason

September 18, 2013, Happy Birthday Madi!

Happy 17th birthday to my bestfriend in the entire world ^_^ 
She is the most supportive and friendly person I've ever met, and she deserves the happiest birthday ever. Go over and check her blog out: Madi's Blog

Dear Madi, 
Thank you for being the best friend I could ever ask for. Thank you for putting up with my bullshit and being there for me for almost 5 years now. You're an amazing friend and I'm glad to also say that you're my friend. Have a super happy 17th birthday and I wish you a great new year of your life <3

Just imagine me making this face: 

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Dayshell - Not Coming In Lyrics  <---- seriously go check it out. its amazing.

Night post, because fuck yo couch!

So, I feel like a terrible boyfriend. I hate the fact that I can't physically be there for her.

I want to be able to hold her when she's sad, hug her after a long day, reassure her when she's worried, get her chocolate and flowers randomly, take her on dates, take her to homecoming and prom. Basically, I just want to fucking be there. 

I tried to get her to go to homecoming with this guy that keeps pursuing her at her school. She wouldn't have any of it. I was just thinking, "oh, she'll go with him, be happy and have fun, maybe even she'll like him enough so she'll actually have a guy to do all that stuff for her" Mehh. And of course, she shows her friends our conversation. T_T I bet they think I'm whipped as fuck. 

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I wanna grow up to be your superman, babes. 

About that amazing girlfriend of mine...

By request of my girlfriend, I'm gonna write about our relationship. Her reason? "write about us cause I feel like butterflies k."

She and I got together 11.16.11, after me asking her out 3 times. Yeah, I was persistent. BUT I also got the most amazing girl to walk the Earth as my girlfriend :3 We were great for the first 5ish months, and then we started getting in to some little fights. I think we were just having little miscommunications and we sorta "broke up" but not really. We were literally only broken up for 10 minutes. Then things were really smooth for another 3 months, then we got into another fight over some trust issues. Keep in mind that our relationship is long distance, trust is EVERYTHING. We didn't break up over that one, just promised to always tell the other if something was bothering us, even if it was stupid and little. Then we didn't really have any fights until a month or so ago from today. It was before I decided I was trans and I still identified as a girl. So her mom decided to go through her phone and stuff and found some texts between us and stuff. Her mom flipped her shit and didn't like the fact that her daughter was bisexual. So we actually did break up because of her mom, but still talked a little bit. Those little talks while we were broken up were painful and heartbreaking, at least for me. This was also around the time I was really questioning who I really was. So in order to try and get over her, because I was sitting here like "shit, its really over. her mom lost it and finished us", I had a fling with this guy named Trevor. But of course that didn't work out, my girlfriend and I got in a huge huge fight over that, but eventually settled it. She and I are together now, and I honestly couldn't wish for a better girlfriend/future wife. I'm just glad that she accepts my decision for being transgendered. My biggest fear when I told her was that she was gonna think I was weird or gross like alot of other people think of it. She actually helped me pick out my male name, and its fucking awesome. 

Yesterday we did adorable cute things like plan our life together and stuff. We want 2 kids, twins, named Caiden and Alexis, we both have fucking insane life goals. She wants to work in criminal justice and I'm gonna try and go in to the medical work area. Basically, we won't be hurting for money xD

Another thing I want to mention. My amazingly perfect girlfriend saved me from a terrible road of drugs, alcohol, depression, and suicide. When we got together, I was off in a bad direction. I was cutting, I was smoking weed and stuff from time to time, and I had been going out and getting drunk with friends a lot. She made me promise to quit doing it, and it took some time, I'll admit. But I've stopped now. I'm happily in love with her and making better choices about my life. She saved me from myself pretty much, and I can't thank her enough.

I love you so much Jalicat<3 

~Jason


She read this, and she exploded in smiles and shit. mission accomplished

September 17, 2013, Because Life.

Well, to start off, I'll introduce myself. My name is Jason (Jace for short) Nicholas C.I'm currently 16, transgendered, and I love metalcore and electro type music. I'm addicted to Bass Slut by S3RL at the moment, thanks to my best friend for showing me that one. Anyways, this blog will probably be about my boring life and shit. Basically it'll be about parent problems, self issues, relationship issues, sibling issues, and possibly gender and sexuality identity issues. 

First:
My gender identity. 
As I said in the intro paragraph above, I'm transgender. I'm FtM and I hope eventually I'll be able to completely transition. My girlfriend and friends have all been super supportive of it. The only problem is my actual family. They are so anti LGBT its not even funny. I'll save most of those stories for later posts, but when I came out to my parents as lesbian, they flipped their shit and pretty much grounded me from everything for a good year. That was 2 years ago, when I was 14, now they pretend it never happened and think I'm straight or whatever. 

Second:
Sibling issues.
I will probably rant about my sister the most on here. She's the typical "baby angel who can't do anything wrong" on steroids. I have TONS of stories about her just being the evil 4-9 year old. But recently, she decided it'd be cool to tear up the 4 brand new posters I had just bought. After searching everywhere and pulling $30 out of my savings for these, she decides she's jealous she didn't get any. 

Basically what happened was about a week after they came in the mail and I put them up, she goes in my room, tears them off the wall, and shreds them. It was like she put it through one of those office paper shredders. $30 down the drain. But her exact excuse for this? "But I didn't get any. He shouldn't be able to have any if I don't get any, plus, he rubbed it in my face." Now, before I go on to tell my parents' reaction to this, let me tell you, I did NOT rub it in her face. I was so quiet about it and didn't say a word unless she asked about it. 

So my parents listen to my side, which was: "No mom, I didn't rub it in her face. Why would I do that?" Guess who gets the favor? My sister. Not only did they not believe me, I'm getting in trouble for this. I mean, seriously, you watched me take those posters from the mail, put them up, and be done. And you didn't hear me say a word. So, I no longer can play my xbox or watch tv for the rest of the week because of this stunt. yay. 

Thanks for reading to my over boring rants :c 

~Jason  


PS: I'm changing my female pronouns to male because it's more comfortable for me.